tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
