I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
