Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
