if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
