maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
