Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize