glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
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