I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
