do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
