we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
