"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i wish my penis had a tongue
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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