I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
