i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize