yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
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