11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Randomize
