She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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