Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
