ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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