i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
