Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
