I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
