Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
