My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize