He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
