Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
