I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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