is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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