speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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