i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
