Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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