Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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