What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
