You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
