Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
