I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
