Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
