I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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