NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
