she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
is it fun? or sober?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
