walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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