I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
