there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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