I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Randomize
