this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
