I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize