was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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