I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This can only be settled by a dance off.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
