I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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