like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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