The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
