She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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