And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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