I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
