whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
