i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
worst night to have a conscience
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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